In The Way We Choose To Live It.

People think I'm stronger than I actually am. I feel like I have to live up to it or something. I don't feel stronger than anybody else.
I'm able to look past many things that many people can't, but I don't really think that has anything to do with being strong - I think it's just a state of mind. It's a state of mind that everybody has but not everybody grasps. They probably could if they wanted to, but they don't.
My mum died when I was fourteen. I know that it may have something to do with the person I am right now, but I have a hard time talking about it. I used to be able to talk about it with anybody, anytime, anywhere. But now I just don't really feel like I can. I just don't really want to. I seem to be having a hard time admitting things to myself right now, and I don't really understand why.
I used to be the kind of person who would get over people pretty quickly - I knew that what was done, was done and there wasn't anything I could do about it. These sorts of things happen every day and I needed to learn to grow the fuck up. But to be honest - it hurts more now because I can't talk about it. Because I don't have anything to really say about it. Because we don't even talk about it, so I don't want to talk to anybody else about it.
Because it pisses me off that I am even writing this, because it should be easier than this.
And it is. It is easier than this. In reality, but not in the way we choose to live it.