Tuesday, June 17, 2025

Even in Arcadia you walk beside me still

I've been thinking alot about anonymous bands and why this is and isn't a great idea. I imagine that the absolute freedom that would come with wearing a mask or costume on stage would be completely freeing. Especially if nobody knows your identity. Do they love it? Great. Do they hate it? Oh well, it's not personal.
On this surface level, it seems brilliant, doesn't it? You can still live a normal life in one respect and have your potentially high-profile life be seperate because nobody knows that you are them.
As I said, on a surface level, that seems brilliant. But, if we get a little deeper, what about the rest of the story? What about when you start to become more well-known, and you still can't take the mask off and show the crowd who you really are. What about the part when everyone is relating to you in this parasocial relationship, and loving you, and buying all your shit, and they can't even see your face. Do you owe them anything? Of course not. But I'd imagine it would keep a sane person up at night with guilt from time to time.
Or maybe it doesn't make you guilty but maybe it makes you wonder if they would even still love you if you did take off the mask. Or maybe you're completely overwhelmed with the idea of the mask and you want to show everyone who you are - but how will you dance? How will you cry in front of thousands of people? How will you sing, when everyone can truly see you? How can you even explain that it's impossible to be your absolute complete self when they can truly see you? How can you explain that you need the mask to feel safe but the mask has now become what people think of when they think of you.
Maybe you're just sick of hiding, sick of not being able to go where you want and do what you want in fear of being found out. Or perhaps you just live in quiet fear of the day that it all breaks apart.
Maybe you have been studying music and trying for years and years to break into the music scene, and finally, here you are, and it's as if you have tape on your mouth now. Maybe you feel like you have created your own hell because you want to be free but then everything will be different.
I can't imagine what it must be like as you get more popular, and win awards and bigger venues and not be able to thank people with your voice.

I can only speculate, and I know many bands have done this in my time, some have come out and some still haven't and some never did and are long gone now. One thing I can certainly relate to though, is to dig deep into your soul and find your deepest and darkest demons, and turn that into music that some people will turn their nose up at, and passionately perform that at an arena or stadium or festival... I would want to be wearing a mask, too.

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