Darko

There is a guy who works at my local Coles named Darko. I'm not sure if that is his real name, but that's certainly what it reads on his name tag. His shifts are always on the same day that I go grocery shopping each week, and I'm not sure if it's the name or just the way that he's always creeping in and out of the aisles, rearranging the already perfectly-stacked baked beans or constantly opening and closing the fridges for no apparent reason, but I always play this little game with him. Now the thing about this game, is that he doesn't know it exists. Or maybe he does, I mean, if anybody was to have creepy super-powers in this world, I'd be Darko. The game works like this. It's very simple, yet effective: Once I make contact with him, I refuse to look away. If he walks, I follow him with my eyes. If he stops, I continue to stare. It really freaks Darko out. He looks away, starts checking expiry dates on the yoghurts, then shoots a glance back at me to see if I'm still staring. Naturally, I am. His goes turns the colour of the tomatoes he's unpacking and he turns away. This goes on for some time, until he disappears behind those great swinging doors (what is behind there, anyway?) and I wait for him to return and resume the game.

One day, I'm sure I'll get a letter with a restraining order notice.