Friday, April 9, 2010

Oh, the Great Communicator

Communication.
It can refer to a number of different things, really. What I’m talking about in this instance though is the ability to communicate and discuss when things are not alright. Nobody likes conflict. (Well, that’s untrue. I’ve been in relationships with people who THRIVE on conflict.) But the majority of sane-minded people don’t like conflict. However, that doesn’t mean that you should sweep everything under the rug to avoid it. Nor should you bow your head and hide from it when it’s aimed at you.
There is nothing worse than having to confront somebody about something that you dislike about them, want them to change or something that upsets you. Personally, it makes me feel weak, needy and childish. But simply, it has to be done sometimes.
Think about it like this: Somebody you care about continues to do something that makes you unhappy. They’re never going to know how much you hate it unless you say something. The problem, for lack of a better word, will carry on and keep happening if you don’t communicate to somebody about how it makes you feel. People are not mind-readers, it’s as simple as that.

What irritates me the most however, is when people remain in denial. If somebody is bothered by something that I do, I want them to say something. I don’t want them to sit on it for months and then finally admit after one-too-many drinks that something I have done actually upset them. I mean, EXCUSE ME? You had ample time to bring this up in the past, why didn’t you say anything?
Answer: to AVOID CONFLICT.
But of course! It’s far better to sit back and pretend something isn’t happening than to confront somebody and actually, I don’t know, RESOLVE THE ISSUE.

I really fail to understand how and why certain people go so far out of their way to avoid conflict and not realise that they’re hurting themselves much more while sitting in denial. Open your fucking mouth. It’s like a bandaid. It will hurt, but only for a second.

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