Fish Guts.

“All anybody ever wants is a nice person to hang out with until we die. Is that too much to ask?” – Lorelai Gilmore.


The extremes. From watching other people’s lives unfold and from my own personal experiences, I find it hard to understand how you can go from being in someone’s life day in and day out for, quite possibly, years… to hardly ever speaking. It’s two different extremes. More than anything, it’s trying to break yourself from the habit.
For so long, you’ve had this one person that you hold above everyone else that you know. They’re the first person you’d think to call in any situation – good or bad – and they’re the first person who will come running. And when the rug is pulled out from underneath you and you can’t – rephrase: shouldn’t – call them anymore, it’s a difficult thing to get used to.

What they say is a lie. About the fish. There aren’t really that many in the sea. Not that many that are “compatible”, anyway. If you’re happy to settle for just anyone, then sure, grab a line. But if you’re looking for something in particular, then no. It’s not going to prove easy.

And the whole process of getting out there and having to look around for something in particular, while it can be exciting, it’s also kind of depressing and quite often rather disappointing. You don’t mean to fill your head with these expectations, but it’s unavoidable I’ve found. It’s a part of your subconscious that is hard to control; even with an open mind.

How do you know that you’ve come across the right person?
You just know.
But how do you ‘just know’?
I don’t know. You just do.
Isn’t there some kind of sign or something?
Not really. When you know, you know.
I thought I knew last time and look how that turned out.
…Shit.

You see, you can’t know. It’s impossible. I wish I could tell you that it was, but it wasn’t. You really just have to wind yourself back to the one and only thing that you can truly rely on, which is yourself.
What does your gut tell you? And don’t lie to me. You do so know what your gut is telling you.