A New Leaf (I suppose).

2010.
I think we put too much pressure on ourselves in a New Year. It’s like we expect that because the year is different, that we should be different. Things should be different. Better, more exciting, less of a hassle. It would be great if this were true. But we always try, anyway.

I didn’t spend New Years the way I had expected. But in the end, I’m happy with the way it turned out. I got to spend time with people that make me happy and I didn’t do anything I regret. I’m not going to say that’s a first, but it’s not very often that I have nights like that lately.

I used New Years this year as an excuse to let it go. The things that were holding me back last year. The things that had me holding onto a string that doesn’t even exist. The things that had me up at 3am hoping for. I mean, I’m wasting my time. I need to learn to let it go. If I’m not getting the answers or results that I want, then it’s not worth it. I put up my fight and I lost, and I accept that. Finally.

I'm leaving denial and desperation in 2009.