I've been feeling alot different lately.
I'm not quite sure what it is. Because when I really think about it, I have felt the same way for a very long time. For at least five years, I do not feel like I have changed very much. In height and maturity and intellect of course, but the past five years do not feel like five years at all. I suppose when you have a major event in your life, you spend a year or so with it constantly on your mind. And when you have something inhabiting your mind, forcing its way into your every thought, your days seem to drag on. And they don't even feel like days at all. It just feels like consistency.
Then, I suppose, you wake up one day and a year has passed. And the next year rips by you, and the next and the next. Before you know it, you can't even remember how you got to where you are today. You find yourself thinking back on everything you have witnessed, or experienced, or overcome in the past five years, and then it really does start to feel like five years, doesn't it?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Over Dramatics
You know what tends to happen?
The more sleep I get, the more tired I feel the next day.
I can wake up after 5 hours sleep, down a coffee and feel just fine. However, I wake up after, say, 9 hours sleep, and I would very much like to crawl back into bed.
Why is this.
I was reminded the other day at an 18th of a very funny thing my friend did. For some reason, much like at 21sts, people feel the need to make speaches at 18ths listing all the most embarresing moments of this person's life.
So she was at the cinemas one day and asked for a ticket to some movie, and the lady told her the price. It took my friend a little while to get all of her change together so during the process, the lady at the ticketbox had put her ticket down on the counter. My friend gathered all the money and gave it to the lady and proceeded to walk away. The lady held up the ticket and said, with a sarcastic tone, "You don't want this?" And my friend turns around, smiles and goes, "No, I don't want a receipt, thanks".
Idiot.
The more sleep I get, the more tired I feel the next day.
I can wake up after 5 hours sleep, down a coffee and feel just fine. However, I wake up after, say, 9 hours sleep, and I would very much like to crawl back into bed.
Why is this.
I was reminded the other day at an 18th of a very funny thing my friend did. For some reason, much like at 21sts, people feel the need to make speaches at 18ths listing all the most embarresing moments of this person's life.
So she was at the cinemas one day and asked for a ticket to some movie, and the lady told her the price. It took my friend a little while to get all of her change together so during the process, the lady at the ticketbox had put her ticket down on the counter. My friend gathered all the money and gave it to the lady and proceeded to walk away. The lady held up the ticket and said, with a sarcastic tone, "You don't want this?" And my friend turns around, smiles and goes, "No, I don't want a receipt, thanks".
Idiot.
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Red in the Sky is Ours
I'm writing right now to avoid doing the work that I really should be doing.
And I will be doing right after I write this, so I don't really know why I don't just do it now seeing as I will be doing it in a moments time.
But I guess its just like anything, like getting out of bed in the morning. You know you're going to be doing it in two minutes but you'd rather lie there for the next 120 seconds anyway.
I kind of can't believe how fast this year is going already. It's almost April. Where the hell did the beginning of the year go? I remember Christmas and New Years like it was yesterday. You've got to be joking in saying it was four months ago.
I'm just purposely wasting time now.
And I will be doing right after I write this, so I don't really know why I don't just do it now seeing as I will be doing it in a moments time.
But I guess its just like anything, like getting out of bed in the morning. You know you're going to be doing it in two minutes but you'd rather lie there for the next 120 seconds anyway.
I kind of can't believe how fast this year is going already. It's almost April. Where the hell did the beginning of the year go? I remember Christmas and New Years like it was yesterday. You've got to be joking in saying it was four months ago.
I'm just purposely wasting time now.
Friday, March 13, 2009
On the corner of 1st and Amistad
I really hate it when people ruin songs for me.
For example, you hear a song on the radio and you're thinking "Hey, that song isn't too bad!" and then you hear it again and you're like "Oh, I really like this song!" and then you hear it again and you're like "Okay, enough now". But every time you get into the car and switch on the radio, THERE IT IS AGAIN.
Then, it starts following you around. You go into the shopping centre, and that song is quietly playing in the background somewhere. You catch a glimpse of someones iPod screen on the bus, and they're listening to the song. Your neighbour has a loud party and plays that song over and over again, and even while you're trying to get to sleep, that song loops over in your head.
And something that was once a good song now makes you cringe and quietly leave the room every time it is played.
Sometimes, if I find a song that I really really like, I purposely don't put it on my iPod for fear that it will start to annoy me if I listen to it too often.
This guy at my work ruined the song Psycho Killer by Talking Heads for me. We were having a conversation about post-punk, and Talking Heads came up. I mentioned the song Psycho Killer, and he immediately started singing the song. And lets just say it sounded nothing at all like the original.
So now everytime I walk past his desk, he starts humming the song at me. I've actually had to plan an alternative route to my desk so I don't have to hear that song anymore.
It's a shame, really. I quite liked that Shake It song by Metro Station the first 80 times I heard it.
For example, you hear a song on the radio and you're thinking "Hey, that song isn't too bad!" and then you hear it again and you're like "Oh, I really like this song!" and then you hear it again and you're like "Okay, enough now". But every time you get into the car and switch on the radio, THERE IT IS AGAIN.
Then, it starts following you around. You go into the shopping centre, and that song is quietly playing in the background somewhere. You catch a glimpse of someones iPod screen on the bus, and they're listening to the song. Your neighbour has a loud party and plays that song over and over again, and even while you're trying to get to sleep, that song loops over in your head.
And something that was once a good song now makes you cringe and quietly leave the room every time it is played.
Sometimes, if I find a song that I really really like, I purposely don't put it on my iPod for fear that it will start to annoy me if I listen to it too often.
This guy at my work ruined the song Psycho Killer by Talking Heads for me. We were having a conversation about post-punk, and Talking Heads came up. I mentioned the song Psycho Killer, and he immediately started singing the song. And lets just say it sounded nothing at all like the original.
So now everytime I walk past his desk, he starts humming the song at me. I've actually had to plan an alternative route to my desk so I don't have to hear that song anymore.
It's a shame, really. I quite liked that Shake It song by Metro Station the first 80 times I heard it.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Thrills, Kills and Sunday Pills.
You know what kind of movies I really like?
I love those really disturbing, independantly-made films. And I don't mean horror or gore or anything, no thanks.
I mean those movies that are based on real life events, but they're the kind of life events that people would prefer to sweep under the rug.
The kind of movies that remind you of someone you once knew. Or remind you of the kind of person you'd never want to be. The movies that make you cringe and turn away from the screen. The movies that leave you with a spaced-out feeling even after the credits have finished rolling.
These are the kind of movies I like (when I'm in the mood to watch a really screwed up film, that is.)
Ken Park (2002):
Banned in Australia. Directed by Larry Clark. Intertwines the lives of kids and their parents. Has some scenes in it that you'd probably really rather not see, but thats kind of the point.
Kids (1995):
Directed by Larry Clark. Originally to warn teenagers about HIV/AIDS. Harsh reality of teenagers unleashed.
Another Day in Paradise (1998):
Directed by Larry Clark. Two junkie couples go on a robbing spree for drugs and money. Tests their courage, commitments, addictions, strengths and relationships. I always thought I would give this addition of Larry Clark's films a miss, because it didn't seem like my kind of film. I eventually gave in, and regret not watching it sooner.
Gummo (1997):
Directed by Haromine Korine. After-math of a horrific tornado that rips through a small town in Ohio. Some interesting characters, some incredible cinematography. Probably one of the most disturbing films I've ever seen. This one scared the shit out of me.
Mysterious Skin (2004):
Directed by Greg Araki. Two boys knew eachother when they were eight years old. One was sexually abused by his baseball coach, the other wakes up after a four hour blackout with a bleeding nose and no memory of what happened during those four hours. Ten years on, they both want answers. But first they have to find eachother.
My Own Private Idaho (1991):
Directed by Gus Van Sant. Strange friendship between two male hustlers. Life on the street, abandonment, love, addiction, abuse. I watch this movie at least once every three or four weeks.
State's Evidence (2006):
Directed by Benjamin Louis. I really hate this movie. I love it, but I really hate it. Suicide pact between six friends. Twist is, they decide that in the last 24 hours of their lives, they will do everything they had always wanted to do but never had the courage/got around to doing. No limits whatsoever. Some extremely horrific scenes, which actually gave me nightmares. I'm really not sure why this hasn't been banned yet.
2:37 (2006):
Directed by Murali K. Thalluri. Six teenagers. One un-wanted pregnancy. One pressured student. One eating disorder. One outcast. One confident football player. And one drug-addict. When the clock strikes 2:37 one tragedy will unfold and effect each and every one of them.
Anyway. That took me quite a while to write up the little blurbs about each movie, but I did rather enjoy doing it.
Maybe books next time, huh?
I love those really disturbing, independantly-made films. And I don't mean horror or gore or anything, no thanks.
I mean those movies that are based on real life events, but they're the kind of life events that people would prefer to sweep under the rug.
The kind of movies that remind you of someone you once knew. Or remind you of the kind of person you'd never want to be. The movies that make you cringe and turn away from the screen. The movies that leave you with a spaced-out feeling even after the credits have finished rolling.
These are the kind of movies I like (when I'm in the mood to watch a really screwed up film, that is.)
Ken Park (2002):
Banned in Australia. Directed by Larry Clark. Intertwines the lives of kids and their parents. Has some scenes in it that you'd probably really rather not see, but thats kind of the point.
Kids (1995):
Directed by Larry Clark. Originally to warn teenagers about HIV/AIDS. Harsh reality of teenagers unleashed.
Another Day in Paradise (1998):
Directed by Larry Clark. Two junkie couples go on a robbing spree for drugs and money. Tests their courage, commitments, addictions, strengths and relationships. I always thought I would give this addition of Larry Clark's films a miss, because it didn't seem like my kind of film. I eventually gave in, and regret not watching it sooner.
Gummo (1997):
Directed by Haromine Korine. After-math of a horrific tornado that rips through a small town in Ohio. Some interesting characters, some incredible cinematography. Probably one of the most disturbing films I've ever seen. This one scared the shit out of me.
Mysterious Skin (2004):
Directed by Greg Araki. Two boys knew eachother when they were eight years old. One was sexually abused by his baseball coach, the other wakes up after a four hour blackout with a bleeding nose and no memory of what happened during those four hours. Ten years on, they both want answers. But first they have to find eachother.
My Own Private Idaho (1991):
Directed by Gus Van Sant. Strange friendship between two male hustlers. Life on the street, abandonment, love, addiction, abuse. I watch this movie at least once every three or four weeks.
State's Evidence (2006):
Directed by Benjamin Louis. I really hate this movie. I love it, but I really hate it. Suicide pact between six friends. Twist is, they decide that in the last 24 hours of their lives, they will do everything they had always wanted to do but never had the courage/got around to doing. No limits whatsoever. Some extremely horrific scenes, which actually gave me nightmares. I'm really not sure why this hasn't been banned yet.
2:37 (2006):
Directed by Murali K. Thalluri. Six teenagers. One un-wanted pregnancy. One pressured student. One eating disorder. One outcast. One confident football player. And one drug-addict. When the clock strikes 2:37 one tragedy will unfold and effect each and every one of them.
Anyway. That took me quite a while to write up the little blurbs about each movie, but I did rather enjoy doing it.
Maybe books next time, huh?
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Caring Is Creepy
It really creeps me out when I'm on a bus, and I'm pretty much the only one on the bus, and then some random stranger comes and sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME. And I don't mean they're sitting on a seat thats rather close to mine when theres plenty of room throughout the entire bus, but I mean they come and sit on the seat which is right up against mine.
Like, why?
It's already awkward enough when you're sitting next to some stranger on a crowded bus and everytime the bus turns a corner you accidently touch them with your knee or something and they look at you funny. But when its just you and some stranger hip to hip in an empty bus? Creepy.
A really funny thing happened to me one time when I was on a bus, actually. I was sitting towards the back and this weirdo came and sat about three seats behind me. I was wearing a Sex Pistols: Nevermind The Bollocks shirt, and he obviously saw the writing on the back of the shirt, because he got up from his seat, sat in the one behind me, put his elbows up on the back of the seat I was leaning on and went "Sex Pistols, aye? Sid Vicious he killed that Nancy, he killed her".
Naturally, I turned around with a WTF expression on my face and this man proceded to tell me his ENTIRE life story. Did I ask? No.
I learnt about how he was on his way down to get a kebab because ever since his wife left him and won't let him see his daughter, a kebab on a Saturday morning is the only thing that has kept him sane. "Been doin' it for five years," He said. "Five looong years".
I really don't understand why he kept telling me this, because really, if you were there you would wonder how on earth he could NOT KNOW that I didn't care.
I finally got to my stop, got off the bus and kind of broke into a casual jog to get away from this creep faster, and I look into the bus window, and he's there WAVING AT ME.
Some people, I swear to God.
Like, why?
It's already awkward enough when you're sitting next to some stranger on a crowded bus and everytime the bus turns a corner you accidently touch them with your knee or something and they look at you funny. But when its just you and some stranger hip to hip in an empty bus? Creepy.
A really funny thing happened to me one time when I was on a bus, actually. I was sitting towards the back and this weirdo came and sat about three seats behind me. I was wearing a Sex Pistols: Nevermind The Bollocks shirt, and he obviously saw the writing on the back of the shirt, because he got up from his seat, sat in the one behind me, put his elbows up on the back of the seat I was leaning on and went "Sex Pistols, aye? Sid Vicious he killed that Nancy, he killed her".
Naturally, I turned around with a WTF expression on my face and this man proceded to tell me his ENTIRE life story. Did I ask? No.
I learnt about how he was on his way down to get a kebab because ever since his wife left him and won't let him see his daughter, a kebab on a Saturday morning is the only thing that has kept him sane. "Been doin' it for five years," He said. "Five looong years".
I really don't understand why he kept telling me this, because really, if you were there you would wonder how on earth he could NOT KNOW that I didn't care.
I finally got to my stop, got off the bus and kind of broke into a casual jog to get away from this creep faster, and I look into the bus window, and he's there WAVING AT ME.
Some people, I swear to God.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
American Movies and TV shows
Now, don't get me wrong - I love movies. American movies, Canadian movies, Australian movies, British movies, you name it.
But there are a few things about American movies and tv shows, in particular, that drive me insane.
1.) They never say goodbye on the telephone. It's like, midsentence - "Yeah okay man..." and then they hang up. But nobody seems to question this. They always just hang up aswell. HOW are you supposed to know its the end of a conversation? What if the reception cut out or something? How are you to know for sure?
2.) How people always seem to knock on other people's BEDROOM doors. Not often, especially in teenage movies & tv shows, will someone have to actually get up off their ass, go downstairs and answer the front door to let their friend in. The friend always seems to knock on the bedroom door. Who lets these people in the house?
3.) How if there is ever a scene which involves a skinny girl eating a cheeseburger, she always seems to take the TINIEST bite known to man, and then just holds the cheeseburger for the rest of the scene. You might as well have given her a lettuce leaf, at least it would look more realistic that way.
4.) This one comes up frequently, but it still annoys me - twenty-five year old kids and thirty-five year old parents? Honestly, cast younger actors.
5.) And the last one kind of works for any movie or tv show, and I understand why they do it, because otherwise they'd have to cast about 30 extra people, but why do the main characters of movies always seem to only have four or five friends? In real life, nobody hangs out with just four or five people. In real life, the majority of people have alot of friends. Maybe only a few close friends, but it always seems in movies that the characters only ever have like two friends.
Thats all I've got for now.
Just some things I got thinking about the other night while in the middle of a movie marathon XD
But there are a few things about American movies and tv shows, in particular, that drive me insane.
1.) They never say goodbye on the telephone. It's like, midsentence - "Yeah okay man..." and then they hang up. But nobody seems to question this. They always just hang up aswell. HOW are you supposed to know its the end of a conversation? What if the reception cut out or something? How are you to know for sure?
2.) How people always seem to knock on other people's BEDROOM doors. Not often, especially in teenage movies & tv shows, will someone have to actually get up off their ass, go downstairs and answer the front door to let their friend in. The friend always seems to knock on the bedroom door. Who lets these people in the house?
3.) How if there is ever a scene which involves a skinny girl eating a cheeseburger, she always seems to take the TINIEST bite known to man, and then just holds the cheeseburger for the rest of the scene. You might as well have given her a lettuce leaf, at least it would look more realistic that way.
4.) This one comes up frequently, but it still annoys me - twenty-five year old kids and thirty-five year old parents? Honestly, cast younger actors.
5.) And the last one kind of works for any movie or tv show, and I understand why they do it, because otherwise they'd have to cast about 30 extra people, but why do the main characters of movies always seem to only have four or five friends? In real life, nobody hangs out with just four or five people. In real life, the majority of people have alot of friends. Maybe only a few close friends, but it always seems in movies that the characters only ever have like two friends.
Thats all I've got for now.
Just some things I got thinking about the other night while in the middle of a movie marathon XD
Day In and Day Out
Does anybody ever get the feeling like it's not even a new day anymore? Like it feels like it just keeps on rolling?
You know, when you get up for work in the morning, work from 8:30-5, get home and it starts to get dark a couple hours later. You sit on the computer, watch some TV, eat dinner and eventually drift off to sleep. You wake up the next morning and do it all over again.
The entire five days of the week just starts to feel like one reeaaalllyyy long day repeating over and over.
But then... something exciting or different happens. And it hits you square in the face, right between the eyes and reminds you why you continue to get out of bed every morning. XD
You know, when you get up for work in the morning, work from 8:30-5, get home and it starts to get dark a couple hours later. You sit on the computer, watch some TV, eat dinner and eventually drift off to sleep. You wake up the next morning and do it all over again.
The entire five days of the week just starts to feel like one reeaaalllyyy long day repeating over and over.
But then... something exciting or different happens. And it hits you square in the face, right between the eyes and reminds you why you continue to get out of bed every morning. XD
Monday, March 9, 2009
And Tell Your Boyfriend, If He Says He's Got Beef That I'm a Vegetarian And I Ain't Fuckin' Scared Of Him...
I just felt like making a post today.
I don't really have alot to say, to be honest.
The weather is very strange these days. I don't quite understand it.
One day its like super hot and sunny and makes me want to go to the beach. And then the next day, its freezing cold and raining and even STORMING. I really wish it would make up its mind.
Okay, I actually sat there staring at the screen, typing something and then thinking "Uh, no, lets not mention that" or "No, that's not funny" or "I'm a complete and utter fool"
So I guess I'll just leave it be with WasteTimeChasingCar's music video for Dont Trust Me by 3Oh!3 because it's excellent XD
I don't really have alot to say, to be honest.
The weather is very strange these days. I don't quite understand it.
One day its like super hot and sunny and makes me want to go to the beach. And then the next day, its freezing cold and raining and even STORMING. I really wish it would make up its mind.
Okay, I actually sat there staring at the screen, typing something and then thinking "Uh, no, lets not mention that" or "No, that's not funny" or "I'm a complete and utter fool"
So I guess I'll just leave it be with WasteTimeChasingCar's music video for Dont Trust Me by 3Oh!3 because it's excellent XD
Thursday, March 5, 2009
"'I just won't sleep,' I decided. There were so many other interesting things to do." Jack Kerouac
Generally, when it comes to sleep, I am an epic failure.
I have to set myself six alarms in the morning. One for 6:00, 6:15, 6:30, 6:45, 7:00 and finally 7:30. And then, somehow, I still end up falling back to sleep.
I actually don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
This is a scenario that happens every morning:
So I'm lying there asleep and my alarm goes off, and by this time it's already 6:45 and I've slept through the first three alarms. And I'm like "Yesss, still have another 45 minutes until I have to get up" So then I fall back to sleep and I start to have a dream. I swear to God, this happens every morning. So I always end up having a really vivid dream that I don't really want to wake up from. So I don't. I'm asleep, and I can hear my alarm going off, but I somehow block it out because I want to keep having this dream.
And then my dad bursts into my bedroom going "CASSIE, IT's ten past eight!" - Excellent. I start work at 8:30.
I think I've screwed up my sleeping pattern so much over the past year or so. I don't seem to sleep at night on the weekends at all. And then I have long naps sometimes, which aren't too great for your sleeping pattern either (they say a nap should be no longer than 20 minutes).
And when you really think about it, as much as we love sleep, it's a real time waster.
I want to learn to live off less sleep. I want to be able to live comfortably on 4-5 hours sleep a night.
I just think it would be fantastic to learn to feel refreshed after only 4 or 5 hours sleep. Thats a 19 - 20 hour day. Think of how much more you could do and see.
And so, with the above in mind - the training begins...
I have to set myself six alarms in the morning. One for 6:00, 6:15, 6:30, 6:45, 7:00 and finally 7:30. And then, somehow, I still end up falling back to sleep.
I actually don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
This is a scenario that happens every morning:
So I'm lying there asleep and my alarm goes off, and by this time it's already 6:45 and I've slept through the first three alarms. And I'm like "Yesss, still have another 45 minutes until I have to get up" So then I fall back to sleep and I start to have a dream. I swear to God, this happens every morning. So I always end up having a really vivid dream that I don't really want to wake up from. So I don't. I'm asleep, and I can hear my alarm going off, but I somehow block it out because I want to keep having this dream.
And then my dad bursts into my bedroom going "CASSIE, IT's ten past eight!" - Excellent. I start work at 8:30.
I think I've screwed up my sleeping pattern so much over the past year or so. I don't seem to sleep at night on the weekends at all. And then I have long naps sometimes, which aren't too great for your sleeping pattern either (they say a nap should be no longer than 20 minutes).
And when you really think about it, as much as we love sleep, it's a real time waster.
I want to learn to live off less sleep. I want to be able to live comfortably on 4-5 hours sleep a night.
I just think it would be fantastic to learn to feel refreshed after only 4 or 5 hours sleep. Thats a 19 - 20 hour day. Think of how much more you could do and see.
And so, with the above in mind - the training begins...
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
You know what pisses me off?
You know in movies when someone is just like, chilling in their room and they've just had a fight with their boyfriend or whatever and they're really sad. And then theres a knock at their BEDROOM door and they're like "Go away, Jason" (for example) and Jason is like "No, please, open the door" and she's like "GO AWAY" and then he leaves.
The entire time, I'm sitting there thinking, "Okay, so they're in a fight... but why is he knocking on her bedroom door? Who the hell let this dude in the house?"
You need to learn to use your noggin.
Thanks and farewell.
The entire time, I'm sitting there thinking, "Okay, so they're in a fight... but why is he knocking on her bedroom door? Who the hell let this dude in the house?"
You need to learn to use your noggin.
Thanks and farewell.
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