Everybody knows "Friends With Benefts" is Crap

I sat here for a few minutes, ready to pour out the situation here. But I can't do it.

Some things are better left unsaid and for sake of the fact that our friendship still remains because neither of us talk about it, I won't.

8:24pm

Sometimes, I wake up and wonder if my entire life is some kind of joke somebody is playing on me. It's not that there is anything particularly wrong with my life. I mean, I quite enjoy it to be honest. I live a life so simple, that I know for a fact that people around me can't understand. Or won't. I work five days a week in a job which may or may not actually have a future in it for me. Sure, there's places I want to get to - in my career, in life, in general. I'm not moving though. I'm not really getting anywhere in particular.
My living situations have changed dramatically over the past three years, but my post code remains the same. My job description has changed, but not my place of work. My debts have increased, but my assets haven't; I have nothing to show for the dent in my credit card other than an increased likeness for beer and a truck load of taxi receipts. I feel like I have been around the world as far as relationships go, to a point that being on my own really seems like the best option. Or at least, the easiest, less complicated option.
I'm quite happy living my life this way. I'm struggling however, to decide whether I'm happy with this because I get comfortable and somehow subconsciously make myself believe that I'm happy with it or if that's just it; I'm genuinely happy.
I know that thinking into these things too much won't really give me any insight, just a false sense of direction and a headache. But maybe it's worth writing it down sometimes. Maybe I need to write it down.